I think it’s safe to say that the person or people who made the decision last week that bags won’t be permitted at National Football League stadiums effective this year were men. I assume this, because the reaction from women that I’ve heard from has been nearly universally thumbs down. I mean, I don’t think anything has been this universally castigated since New Coke back in the 80’s. Effective with the upcoming season, spectators will only be permitted to bring clear plastic, vinyl or PVC bags no larger than 12 inches by 6 inches by 12 inches. They can bring one-gallon clear plastic freezer bags or small clear plastic bags that are roughly the size of a hand and with or without a strap or handle. The catch is that fans can only bring one of those clear bags and a small clutch bag that is, again, roughly the size of a hand.
If you didn’t know better, you’d think you were being prepped to board an airplane, rather than going in to see a professional football game. And perhaps, that’s the point, according to Jeffrey Miller, the NFL’s vice president and chief security officer. In a prepared statement to NFL.com, Miller said fans quote deserve to be in a safe and secure environment unquote. Miller believes that this plan will streamline the process of checking in at the entrance gates, adding quote “We think the fans will embrace and appreciate it.” The air must be really thin at league headquarters on Park Avenue in New York, if they think NFL fans, and especially female fans, are going to embrace and appreciate not being able to bring regular sized purses to games. For the life of me, I could not understand why the NFL, whose popularity with women is unmatched among the major sports, would do something so off-putting to such an important part of its constituency.
Then, I heard that while the league won’t let you take your bag into the stadium, it will sell you clear plastic bags with your favorite team’s logo or the wonderful NFL shield on it to cart your stuff around, because you love the NFL just that much.
Ah, a naked grab for cash. Now, there's something that men and women can see through.